There is much to be said for the routine of habit.

It is familiar and comforting.  And it is largely stress free.

Every habit has three components: a cue (or a trigger for an automatic behaviour to start), a routine (the behaviour itself) and a reward (which is how our brain learns to remember this pattern for the future.)

So you get up at the same time every day, you have the same breakfast every morning, the same coffee at the same place. You walk or drive the same route.  You have the same routine. You do the same job, despite the promise of a new and exciting career opportunity.   You save time, conscious thought and even making any decisions.

Slipping into sameness is like sleeping with the comfort blanket.  It provides a deep sleep and allows the subconscious to roam free.  It can be restorative.  It can also be dangerous.

It’s easy to confuse habit with choice. I am drawn to the  William Glasser Institutes work on choice theory.  It makes me pay attention to my habits.  So I consciously choose to be caring and try to make sure I curtail any negative behavioural habits.  If I know my habits then I can choose to continue or change.

The Golden Rule of Habit Change says that the most effective way to shift a habit is to diagnose and keep the old cue and reward, and try to change only the routine. Click here for useful tips on how to change a habitual behaviour.

So I may choose to break my habit of chocolate every day (often for breakfast) and reward myself by trying on a 20 year-old pair of jeans.  And when I give in to the craving, to the chocolate SHOUTING at me from the cupboard, I eat so much that I want to be sick, the cupboard is empty and I can start again.  I own my behaviour or as Roscoe often says “you only own your own self”.

I can choose to disrupt my routine; not to write this blog every 5 days.  How does that feel, for me the writer, for you the reader?  What happens?  How does not communicating, not sharing, make me feel, think, act?

And what do I learn by choosing to disrupt my status quo? What does conscious choice bring me that routine habit does not? What is the cost? What is the benefit?

Giving up work, for the second time, was my conscious choice.  I recognised I went back too early, that I needed more time to heal. This time round, breaking the work cycle, breaking the value and self-identity I attach to my corporate life, is profoundly restorative.  The need, the habit of attaching self-worth to the work, has shifted.

I am learning to hold the space for exploration, for curiousity, for listening, for opportunity.

It is now that my learning is truly beginning.