Tag Archives: purpose

Why

Although employed by the UK Department of Trade, I’m locally engaged. This means when Craig moves roles and I go with him ( there are some days when this is more of a consideration than an absolute…hah), I will need to leave my role and stop leading my fantastic Caribbean DIT team.

The thought of this day has me almost coming out in hives. Having invested so much into my current role, there is much still to do and still so much more to learn. I’m just getting started.

But public service people-change is structured and planned. Particularly in relation to overseas roles. So it’s inevitable we will move on; even though, at this time, we have no clue as to where and when.

Dealing as a “trailing spouse” with this level of ambiguity, where I have no control nor influence, and where I have to give up my own hard-won job, is turning out to be harder than I thought. I’m driving my mentor batty with my over-thinking and frustrated drive for action.

I need to create and package a portable career; a transferable kitbag of skills, knowledge and experience, which can be deployed wherever we end up. I comfort myself that I knew only a little about international trade and investment two and a half years ago and yet here I am today, regularly speaking publicly, leading the most productive team in LATAC and directing the work of the Caribbean Trade Envoy. And all the while managing degrees of complexity, a vast array of wide ranging challenges and a suite of stakeholder engagement that makes my corporate career seem like a whimsical breeze.

Yet I remain uncertain and nervous. I’m wired for work and the fear of future unproductive, unstructured days fills me with horror to such an extent that I’m over-engineering from the get go. So my mentor sets me the task of updating my CV and forming the stories I will share of my experiences and achievements. Writing is a passion so this doesn’t seem like too much of a chore until I sit down at my keyboard.

What do I want and much more importantly, why?

Prompted by conversations with my sis-in-law, I sign up for Simon Sinek’s foundation course on finding my why. I’m only part way through and loving it but have found today’s exercise to be mentally challenging. The task is to write at least 6 stories on my life’s peaks and valley’s, stories which elicit emotional highs and lows which I can tell with passion and authenticity. In the beginning this seems similar to the work done on the True North leadership journey but as my depth of self awareness and emotion has increased since my cancer, I’m much more prepared to be open, honest, vulnerable and raw.

And it stinks.

I discover, as I write the headings and shape over forty story bones, that my desire to spin gold out of horse manure, has disappeared. I can see patterns and themes emerging as if the theatre curtain has swept open while I stand on stage; undressed, alone and vulnerable. I’m untethered.

So here I am unburdening on this blog. Trying to create distance from the jotter of notes and timelines and memories. Sitting with more whys than Simon Sinek has ever dreamed of in his entire puff.

I know the ‘what’ of my stories and in most cases I know the ‘how’ but the why??? There is so much I can’t answer particularly in those stories languishing in the valleys of life. I can’t take responsibility for others actions and decisions, I’m only responsible for choosing and accepting my reaction and action to these circumstances. In many stories patterns emerge of white knuckle survival, the outsider’s desire to belong and a dogged determination to not show reaction or weakness, even when crumbling inside. But the why? The purpose, motivation and intended outcomes of others… well I’ll never know. My fear of being a victim means I spend little time pondering on why others have acted as they’ve done; it’s a senseless enquiry as it doesn’t change the past and increases the chances of poor behaviours based on deep seated fears. It has the potential to become a never ending perpetual cycle of introspection and conjecture.

I’ve come to realise that my why, my purpose, needs to be based on sunshine experiences so I’m not reacting to negative forces. It’s a real Star Wars insight. I choose to be Luke and reject thoughts of Anakin.

So whether it’s the 5 why’s (going back to my total quality management days here) or the NLP clean questioning guidance when ‘Why’ can never be part of the interactive dialogue enquiry; this 3 letter word has the potential to elicit powerful emotions and reactions.

I will step through the rest of this course with more caution, consideration and care.

And get on with the easier task of updating my CV.

Legacy

Between Christmas festivities and New Year celebrations we fly to the USA for a reminder of first world life.  3 nights and 4 days are plenty enough to gorge on Floridian excesses including Miami South Beach posing, head-turning car porn and excess bling; to Key West tourist-tat, determined displays of alternativeness (if you have to try this hard, then you’re not living authentically) and wish-washy sunsets; we are happy to get back on the plane laden with a fresh supply of magazines and bargain basement clothing.

Many of these magazines have articles focused on looking back; on a year in review, person of the year, etc. They provide interesting reading; some names and stories I was unaware of, others have been shared in mainstream media.

These articles bring to mind a charming animated Disney Pixar movie which I watched on a plane last year.

Coco, tells the story of the dead souls who annually reunite with their living relatives as long as they are remembered. When the last living soul who remembers them dies, they turn to dust.

I’m also reminded of a recent radio programme talking of when Bing Crosby met David Bowie and the recording of their duet “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” for Crosby’s popular TV special. By all accounts Crosby was not much enamoured of this young upstart, he being the much bigger star at the time. So it’s interesting to move forward 40 years to find Roscoe’s generation being inspired by Bowie and wondering who the old geezer wearing the Granddad jumper is in the video.

I ask Craig during our drive down to Key West, who he thinks will be remembered in 150 years time. When our generation and the next two generations have gone, and many of us will be dust. He responds almost immediately with a cynical reply,  “despots and tyrants are always remembered”.  We start to go back in history and I reluctantly see his point. We also talk about explorers and scientists and have a lively debate on if Stephen Hawking will be remembered years from now. Is his legacy strong enough or do his pronouncements on relativity (the nature of space and time), and quantum theory (how the smallest particles in the Universe behave) to explain the creation of the Universe and how it is governed, merely lay the foundation for others to make more startling discoveries? On British Royalty, we agree that Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana are likely to be remembered for their actions and enacting change. Our jury is out on Prince Charles. Driving past the still half-mast American flag (we presume due to the recent death of 41, President Bush) we talk about those American Presidents still living and dead and mull on those who are memorable or not. We deduce that those who were firsts or created long-lasting change are remembered, those who served and chartered a steady course, less so. This is equally true of British Prime Ministers; Blair, Cameron, May will disappear into a historical timeline, Churchill, Pitt, George, possibly Thatcher, Atlee and even Chamberlain stand out. Of business leaders, I think Gates will be remembered for his philanthropy and determination to rid the world of polio, malaria and other curable diseases, much more than him co-founding Microsoft. Will future generations remember Buffett, Zuckerberg, Branson, Dyson or Jobs? Or the GE titan, Jack Welsh?

When I coach senior leaders and CEOs I ask the legacy question as a way to get them to think beyond the quarterly or half-yearly results; to look beyond their tenure and out into the horizon. Focusing on this helps them align with the broader purpose of the organisation and these two elements tend to be much more engaging for employees than the traditional mission, strategy and vision. An organisation led by a leader who knows where they fit in the bigger picture, who they are, why they are there and why they want to achieve their goals is much more likely to succeed in the longer term than those solely looking for enhanced Total Shareholder Earnings and quarterly profit growth. The sustainable long-term health and viability of an organisation and the success of its Leader should never be measured on financial performance and metrics alone.

While using this question is instructive for those in positions of power and authority, I’m not sure how helpful it is to others. For focusing on legacy feeds the human ego, leads to craven angst on meaning and satisfies our craving to be noticed.

It’s true that considering our legacy is a way of making sense of why we are here. But why are we focused on creating meaning and measuring success on a time-bound, out of our control construct?

Surely it is enough that our contribution to life and living is honored and celebrated by those who we love and who love us in return? Being our version of a legend in our own lifetime helps focus our energy. It doesn’t matter how big or small our achievements are, it matters than we care and we count. That our lives are meaningful to one person or many. It matters that we absorb, learn from and accept life change while remaining true and constant to who we are.  It matters that we stay open to, and flexible about, our ever-changing knowledge and beliefs. That we take positive action when we can.

At this time of year, we can get caught in big hopes and aspirations, in setting goals and maybe making changes. In making ourselves better, living our lives differently, being more. Many start to think of legacy as the years quickly move on. This time of year, encouraging change is good business for those of us in the business of change. You will find your inbox and social media accounts littered by offers of helping you shift your mindset, your waistline and some of your bank balance.

Before you swipe up for more information or click the reply button, or get lost in Pinterest or Twitter while worrying about what’s missing, your negative voice chattering about inadequacies and comparisons, just stop.

Take a moment for reflection.

Shift focus, acknowledge you are human, fallible, contradictory and unique. That you are enough as you are. That you matter, irrespective and sometimes because of, all the choices and decisions you make and the people you love and care about; who love you, as you are now, in return.

By all means keep improving, growing, learning, developing, thriving. But start from the premise that you already count. That you are already a legend, for someone, somewhere.

Now what’s possible?

Resilience

start quote on resilienceIt’s two weeks before my operation.  The weight and enormity of my cancer diagnosis is behind me.  I’m focused on the practical.  All I have to do, prepare for, organise lies ahead.  There are lists in every notebook, on every large magnetic surface. I am a whirlwind of efficiency, able to project risks, variabilities, possibilities and solutions.  More loquacious than I’ve been for a long time, I ask for and receive help, love, support, kindness.  In amongst this maelstrom, I open an email.  Would I like to participate in  IC Fight Night?  An industry event where four executives postulate on various topics and be red or green carded by the audience.  Immediate feedback.  Immediate discussion.  Immediate interaction and debate.  Four leading industry executives. One winner.  It’s in April next year.  Months away.  I  think about it for less than  a minute before typing “I’d be delighted” and pressing send.

At the same time, my work colleagues  are having to dig deep.  Bigger change than envisaged before is upon them.  The largest corporate takeover in the UK for the  past 15 years is underway.  It’s bound by international regulations and resolution is at least 10 months away. Uncertainty abounds. So much ambiguity, so many choices.  Stay.  Go. Wait. Help!Mandela quote on resilience

I watch, frustratingly near, yet from afar.  The ironic parallels are noted.  Living with my own ambiguity, health and future uncertain,  I am unable to do any more than empathise.  Once at the heart of all people changes, I am relegated to being on the sidelines, not on the pitch.  My choices are focused on family, health, friends.  For the first time in a long time, work comes a distant fourth.    It’s a liberation.  A chance for unfettered learning and curiousity.  I become my own change experiment.great quote on resilience

I slowly learn to live in the now. This happens gradually.  A focus on small stuff – an organised cupboard, a fridge full of green stuff, a wall of past photographic memories, notebooks full of future hopes and dreams.  Little inconsequential decisions, irrelevant by themselves but all together making a larger unseen picture, the ramifications of which are felt by the future choices they enable. I start to become stronger again.   My perspective shifts. I’m living the cure for cancer, not seeking it.   Nothing I do is more important than getting well.

Invariably, time heals; my body and, gradually, my mind.  And before I recognise the change, the snowdrops are peeking out from the grey green foliage, the yellow gold of the daffodils brighten up our country lane and the light of the night begins to lengthen and stretch.  April is here.

And with it comes my past promise. Fight Night.

The week running up to the event, I have all these excuses in my head.  All of the reasons I cannot participate.  Then Craig has to go to Baku in Azerbaijan for work.  It’s like an omen.  I cannot go, I have to look after my son.    But an understanding girlfriend removes the obstacle and once more I am clear to attend.  The only thing stopping me is me.  This is my test.  Can I function in a work environment again?  Can I offer any value?  Do I have anything worthwhile to share?resilience 4

Walking into the room is an inner strength test, almost comparable to being told about potential side effects the night before my operation. All around me are political election slogans and campaign posters.  This is the home of Bell Pottinger,  the advertising agency, whose ability to tap into the Zeitgeist of the day helped bring  Margaret Thatcher to power. In fact, our “fight” is located in the very room where she learned she was the next Prime Minister of the UK.  Thankfully all of this masculine posturing is negated by the warm greeting of a fellow panellist.  She and I joke about what we’re doing before the room starts to fill up.

Formats explained, everyone settled down, Fight Night begins.  A lively debate ensues on the value of having an organisation purpose, which segues into a heated conversation on the validity of resilience and if it’s something which can/should be trained.  I am in the thick of it.  Out of the window goes any reservation that my brain might not be working, that I’m better observing and participating with pithy one liners.  Oh no, I am passionate about purpose and resilience – two areas where I have personally invested these past nine months.  I’m up to my welly boots, and beyond, in debate. resilence diagram
In flow, I share that a purpose is required for attraction, recruitment and engagement – particularly of millennials; that resilience needs to be learned, not taught.  But this is greatly aided by providing a framework and tools for people to explore.  I talk about the value of peer group storytelling and experiences, about holding the conversation and listening.  I talk about brand purpose being so closely aligned to strategy deployment there is no chink between them.  I listen to the discussion on the differences and sameness of brand expression externally and the internal employer brand.  I offer a view on a more transient employee base – made up of knowledge workers, contractors, consultants affecting the employment proposition – challenging participants to stop just thinking about engaging employees. I get carried away talking about operating models and governance and the impact these have on change communications. And I listen to  others and learn much about channel strategy and the changing role of communicators and get involved in discussions on authenticity and leaders.   In summary, I have heaps of  fun.  And somehow, I “win” Fight Night.

But my real win is recognising I have no fear in sharing my truth.  And that, in this freedom, I connect with “flow”.  People may agree or disagree.  Red or Green card.  And I can bend, listen, laugh, be persuaded or stick to my thoughts and beliefs.

But always I am real.

Power Full.

Me.

maybe final quote on resilience blog