In ancient times in places as far apart as Egypt and India,  our ancestors lived with the concept of eternal return.  Their belief;  the universe recurs, and will continue to recur across infinite time and space. And as a result,  time is cyclical and recurring.

Even today, in many religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism and Sikhism, the concept of a cyclical pattern is inherent. The wheel of life represents an endless cycle of birth, life and death.  We live to die. And eventually, by living a good life, Nirvana or nothingness can be achieved.

And the system of groundhog day daily life,  a system of returning repeatedly, is something we all experience, sometimes without realising.

We return to work and we return from work. We return to friends, family, pets.  We return to our home. And hopefully to our real selves in our private spaces.  Some of our returns are more significant than others. Returning to a friendship, not lost, just dormant and re-found. Returning to a trusted brand for mortgages, insurances or cars.  Even  returning home after a disagreement.

How many returns do you make today or this week?  Daily occurances  demonstrating that linear time is not the only time we move to. How many of us really embody daily change and difference in our busy lives?  How exhausting would this be?! And in recognising that many of our actions and decisions are more habitual than conscious, does this awareness change our behaviour?

Being sick, means my habitual returns are broken and new ones form. There are returns which are firsts so they take on a significant hue; the return home to Roscoe from the hospital,  the return to eating ordinary food,  to talking so most understand, to walking more than 100 metres without becoming exhausted.  Then there are the returns which are more habitual; dressing myself, washing my hair, driving, doing the school run, shouting at my boys for leaving trails of dirt, grime and mess behind them.

And then there is the return to work.  And even going in for my first half day last week knocks me sideways.  Returning to using my brain in a certain way, to maintaining a professional image, to being alert for all communication – it’s exhausting.

With this return to  work, I  find myself  excited, scared, inquisitive, curious. How can I…? How will I…? How much do I…?  It’s true, I now manage a large amount of ambiguity, in terms of self, of work and the finite amount of energy that I have.  I must trust that time is not linear, it is cyclical. That I was, I am, I will be, great again.

And then a conversation provides a breakthrough.  My worth and value is not measured in what I do, defined by quantity and physical doing , it’s measured by how I enable.  I am returning to being a catalyst, a mentor, a coach, a leader. I am returning to being my whole self.

We all return, eventually.  Let’s be  aware and grateful of the habitual and revived returns we make in this life.  And if they don’t fit, or serve a purpose, let us change.

After all, we may have many lives ahead of us to reap the rewards of the life we live today.