Do it anyway

We’re off to a Strawberry full moon gong-bath in the still pool waters of the Animal Flower cave at North Point, Barbados.

I am more than surprised that Craig is with me in the car. Over the years, he has endured my exploration of alternative healing therapies. Over time, we have learned that his tolerance levels extend to polite listening and occasional glugging of protein shakes,  tasting of açai bowls and falafel balls. But experiences; well that’s not been a couples thing for us. We both know he’s here because his mate is also coming with his wife.

So there is little pressure to look out for his mental well-being as we head down the steep steps into the depths of the cave as the sun sets.

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The upstairs chatter quickly dissipates as we all concentrate on navigating the slippy rocks and stones underfoot . We slip and slide our way from the opening cave into the dusk- darkness of the main cave where the natural pool water glistens as the ocean roars beyond. Candles are being lit and the large gong merges into the majesty of the natural rock formation like an ancient statue.

We each find our space, some gathering by the side of the pool, others seeping into the shadows around the cave walls. The only noise is of stones cracking underfoot as we all settle in.

The reverberation of the gong begins; inside and out. My brain gets busy busy. I notice thoughts, worries, concerns. I become hyper-focused on Craig somewhere behind me. I’m a jumble mess of inner projection, judgements and fear. Craig looms into my side vision stumbling his way down to the pool which he falls into like an inebriated aquaman.

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Unusually the water also calls me forward and I inch inwards sensing different levels of noise and vibration. It’s ferkin freezing. No one else appears to notice but my goosebumps are almost as large as the rocks underfoot. I sit shivering, partially submerged, and in the recognition of the cold and of the continual vibration, my mind quietens. I develop my own inner chant and my breathing slows and shoulders relax. And I forget about everything and everyone else.

The high pitch of the bells propel me into the now; people are moving and like a lemming I gather myself back into human form. Craig and I are the first to leave the space. An unspoken understanding of the need for a differing environment propels us upwards and out.

I don’t ask how it was for him. I don’t ask others this either. I know this can create a need to articulate in words that which is a deep inner experience. Not everyone can access these words immediately and I myself need to internalise and ponder before shaping my out-loud thinking.

We catch up with our friends and sit down for dinner in the restaurant upstairs. Between the rum punch and the flow of the wine and the fizz, normal, established patterns re-emerge. Our shared experience remains unspoken.

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A moonbow appears on the water. A blessing and a reminder.

Water forms 60% of our mass; our brains and hearts are 73% water with our lungs construction about 83%. I know from my cancer recovery and foray into alternative healing therapies that the Solfeggio monks of the 12 century used sound to raise vibrations and energy. I have previously worked with 174 Hz to relieve pain and stress; 285 Hz to heal tissues and organs; 396 Hz to lift fear and guilt; 417 Hz to help facilitate change and 528 Hz for transformation and DNA repair. Our Solfeggio wind chimes currently play in the wind breath on our patio, soothing Craig during his periods of working from home during this pandemic, without him understanding why.

It’s enough to experience in the body without the busy brain always knowing.

It’s enough to be and do it anyway.